Fat Chance For Town’s Reputation!
The South Yorkshire town of Doncaster continues to hit the headlines for the wrong reasons as it is announced today that the local NHS authority is taking radical measures to deal with childhood obesity in the town.
In previous years the town has been declared as the AIDS capital of Britain and controversially elected an independent mayor whose radical ideas included cancelling the funding for a gay rights parade and refusing to meet dignitaries from their twin town of Dangdong in China. Showing a natural brilliance at promoting his town the Mayor stated that he was sending “a worldwide message to towns and cities that Doncaster is closed for business”.
Of course the town’s image has further been blackened during the recent ‘devil boys’ trial and for reports that the town’s social care network was not fit for purpose. It is against this backdrop that the latest developments in the town are likely to bring further public humiliation.
Apparently a third of all six year olds in the town are overweight or obese. This gives the impression to the country as a whole that the local youngsters spend all their days eating chips and mars bars and drinking can after can of tooth rotting fizzy pop. As a South Yorkshire native myself, and one who has visited the town on many occasions, I can categorically confirm that this is– true.
Yes, Donny as the town is affectionately known is a fat town. The borough’s ‘Slimmer Of The Year’ title isn’t decided by who has lost the most weight but rather who has put the least weight on in the preceding twelve months. Public transport in the town comes with extra wide seats and reinforced wheels.
NHS Doncaster’s bright plan is to get children to spend three and a half hours every Saturday learning how to exercise and eat well. These clubs could be a great place for people with claustrophobia to gather, but I would not recommend them for agoraphobics. I predict that the ‘fat clubs’ will be as popular with the Doncaster children as a performance by Kiri Te Kanawa would be at a Sepultera concert.
What worries me is that the town of Doncaster needs to bury these bad news stories. The mayor should use some of his radical thinking to come up with new ways to promote the town rather than exposing it to further ridicule. Doncaster has a lot to offer – it has, er, well it is well known for, hmm, well at least it has an airport so that you can get away from the place! Robin Hood airport – that’s right, the Doncaster airport that’s named after a famous character from Nottingham. On second thoughts, maybe it would be better if they just kept silent altogether – no news can be good news!
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