Money Issues
Diary, something about leaving the university in this Southampton place is making me feel quite the dreadful one. Actually no, dreadful is too meek a word–a more suitable word would be debauched.
I just can’t get used to spending so little money, you see–it is too hard; an obvious problem encountered by many of the rich students of the world, I am sure. I did go on the Rich Student UK message board and discovered I was not the only one with this horrendous dilemma. So I have decided to do something about it: I booked myself in with a psychotherapist.
The first session, last week, went OK, until I told the professional about the precise nature of my problem; she seemed somehow disgusted and asked me if I was ‘messing around’. When I told her I was not, because a graduate student of my caliber would never play such a heinous prank, she walked out of the room. So now I am stuck with my new therapist, Dr. Jamie Oliver.
Yes, his name is Jamie Oliver—all very funny–he says–only I have not the slightest clue of what he is talking about. I told him I was not in the habit of watching ‘common’ TV and this again raised a bizarre laugh.
Jamie Oliver suggested that I jump in all guns blazing—that I go for one week, to begin with, with the terrible budget of just five hundred English pounds! He said this should be an ample amount of money to get me through the week. Now I wondered who was the joking one! “Half of one thousand Sterling?…” I replied, distraught. “…That’s not enough for a bran new pair of heels and some fashionable clothing to which I deserve for being so cutting-edge posh!”
I have a feeling Jamie Oliver and I will not last long–
I couldn’t sleep last night and decided to go skulking round the web for something to keep me busy, turns out the Heroes Forum is not only a exciting way to waste time but also fairly amusing!