Chris 77

The Revolution COMETH

There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who dare to BBQ throughout the year, regardless of the conditions being ideal or not, and the other—those who only BBQ when it is hot outside, those who must learn the error of their ways. Otherwise known as the pretenders. They don’t care about the real morals of BBQing, you see, they only care about looking like BBQers. It’s a blight on our society which needs to be controlled and moderated so much more than it is. Thanks to the BBQ pretenders there are children up and down the country who believe that a BBQ can only be celebrated for two pathetic months every year, when the temperature is at an all-time high! It is thanks to the pretenders that these children grow in to adults with an intense desire to look down upon those real BBQers who BBQ all the year round. If you’re reading this and shaking your head with the knowledge that you have done wrong then I suggest you look yourself in the mirror and see what you find!

Now I can breathe.

Being hardcore is not easy, though. This is so much more than fighting a simple revolution. We are fighting for a cause no less great than racism, sexism, and everything else serious enough to end in ism (I said ism, not asm). It is not a battle that can be won on our own, people, we need to unite. So when you see people turning their noses up because it’s November, freezing cold and atrocious weather conditions, please voice your concern with rage and gusto: say “I want my meat and I want it now, if that’s OK with you dear pretender?” With language like that we can have the world we deserve, for us and our children!

On a completely different topic I am aiming to sort out something for my best friend as a gift. When I was having a chat with her the other night she said that she would like a new set of pink gore running wear. Do any of you know of a place that sells this in London? And also, just because I am rather curious now, what is the difference between gore and not-gore?