A Lecture In Meat
BBQ season is upon us. Alcohol and summer weather makes us all talk about things which nobody really cares about but seem slightly intriguing (like Calf implants and why you don’t see baby pigeons) and the air smells of badly over-done meat cooked with that loveable boring quality (no sauces or relish; if there is salad then you can bet it’ll consist of lettuce and tomatoes and that’s about it) that us British people have been forever known for.
And there, amongst the smells, is the smell of vegetarianism, of course. It’s hiding, so you won’t detect it right away, but believe me, if you try hard enough then you’ll see exactly what I mean–
Now, I have no problem with vegetarianism. In fact, I happen to think that not eating the flesh of other animals is the way to go.
But let’s get one things straight: if you think that eating animal flesh is so wrong, vegetarians, why model your vegetarian ‘meat’ upon that which you find so disgusting?
I’m talking about vegetarian burgers and sausages of course, but there are more offenders and more types being produced all the time, ALL which look exactly the same as the real meat originals. Vegetarian kebabs, vegetarian steaks–where will the copy-catting end? All I am saying is this: get your own style of shaped meat, please! Don’t say that our meat is a terrible thing and then model your own upon ours!
This has caused a few disputes among me and my friends. Often I’ll be standing around thinking I am surrounded by meat lovers, and the next I will be coming to terms with the fact that every single meat thing is in fact a fake meat thing. Copied down to the finest detail!
People, sort it out!
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